235

lucky number 235.

jet lag lasted for 3 days, god knows why.

I'm leaving for Hong Kong in roughly 3 months.

and after that its 5 months of learning, getting slammed and more learning.

its what i wished and prayed for day and night.

but its just too surreal at this moment.

shenzhen+zhuhai+macau+Hong Kong with the LAU family was cool.

234 - celebrations.

random things i have been doing.



with my new-found love of course.
HELLO IXUS 75, your huge 3.0 inch screen amazes me.

1stly, its the xmas potluck we planned from 2 million years ago.
alcohol was almost non-existence.
but celebration was hanging in the air, think 2 weeks holidays.

and i could not remember the last time i ate so much.

BING's time to shine.

good pasta + weird confessions.

The New Bing look.

Awwww. Classic face.

Post dinner activity!

and we tried in the best that we could, CHA and I , to celebrate chong bing bing's birthday. (early one).

and li bing got abit drunk. (OR SO IT SEEMS)

and that sums up the adventure of the happy trio.

...


Just before i fly off into neverland for xmas.

Merry Xmas THE world, spread the peace, joy and love.
(I cant wait for boxing day sale!)






HONG KONG BABY, Hongkie-licious.

233

Its Friday the 14th, the promised results has not reached me.

No one bothered to say anything to ease the uncertainties.

is dropping an email all that hard?


and then anxiety turns into fear and turns lastly to just blurrr.
so just what lies ahead in the not-too-distant future?








keep your eyes peeled and your ears opened.

232 - Shoes

WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW.




so futuristic it blows my mind.
Whoosh.

i LIKE.


...

lets go forward in time, to reassure myself that i turn out fine.

231 - a dash of sunshine.

because,

you hold on to the change i'll like to have in my life.
and i'm not contented staying here.


..

LIONEL LEWIS IS GORGEOUS

of course he is that young and awfully tall dude!
YES I AM VERY VERY STAR-STRUCK!
OMG, TALL GUYS ARE LOVE!



Yayaya, him lor, the tall dude in adidas!



Group photo! bad lighting!



more group photo!



CTV, your coolest choice! 'C'!




wow, don't i look happy and blessed?

230

if you can't embrace me with the whole of your heart,
then don't embrace me at all.






you're so beautiful you burnt my heart.

229

i tried as much as i could to inject a dose of adrenaline into my life.
and all i could manage was a long long, extremely long phone call with Ang Keat Ying.

We conversed almost purely in chinese,
speaking of all the cheena-piangs we've come across, speaking of our own chinese heritage.
random things that not everyone can understand.
she's worried for her future, almost as much as i'm losing sleep over XXX.

eyecandies and everything beautiful.
stereotypes and everything hurtful. (for her and for me.)

angular-shaped faces as eyecandies and travelling, massive runaway travelling.

i wonder if we could make our conversation come true.

...


Bought brother's winter jacket.
i saw the most amazing brown jacket laced with a bit faux fur.
tried on random looking leopard printed boots.
yea, i felt almost like a tranny who is gonna get sued by PETA for having something to do with animals.

on a lighter note,
HK trip is less than 2 weeks away, and advert big idea is still on the loose.

oh keat, in case u wondered, this is the pic of you i put in my advert PPT:





And those are the bangs i inserted into my messy hair!





and life goes on as usual, with abit of fear lingering in my heart every now and then.








Tong is queen, and u'll never get her down.

228

the insomia spins on till next friday.
14th Dec 2007.


shave away my long hair, if it makes you happy.

227

Ms Margie OH Ms Margie.



your preference kills me.

226

there is this unbearable silence in my heart that prays for this week to be prolonged.








yes, i do have faith, but.

225

not yet, not so soon.
i dont wanna get ur call yet.
i dont know how its gonna be like.

224

i breathe in hope, every morning.

mundane

i cant remember.

when you said you would not be holding my hand anymore.



i stopped breathing for 10 seconds,
hoping the tears will go away.

heartbeat.

something in me is dying.
i'm putting it on life-support till friday.

issue XXX

Its Sunday again.

this week has once again been constipated to the core.
with two deadlines next week im beginning to lose the rhythm of breathing.

all i did on Sunday is to once again sleep throughout the day.
after one week of school, my body can hardly take it anymore.
when someone said i should go get a 9-5pm job, i took it as an insult but laughed it of.
alas, my body is not working well with me.


im dreading every sunday.

rest feels so limited.

chemistry.

been having a couple of supper nite out recently.
late nights and everlasting projects are really killing how i look like.


met up with the old school gang.
Bakerzin was holy sin, cakes are heavenised there, i swear.











there goes.
all the pictures, ugly or beautiful, its all up there.
till next time.

Entry #218

i don't want to know what you think.
its terrorising me, the way you try to control my everything.
and the way i knuckle under you.


the 'phang' of fearfulness disappeared today for the longest time ever.
i think it got sick of bugging me and went on a long vacation.

i don't want anything that you ever want.

non-stop hits.

for now, i just wanna be wordy.


My day was dried up boring, so boring that the only interesting thing i heard was:
" Plush Fools was a mistake"
HAHAHAHA, it was F-king funny, randomly funny.

i've been doing split-second blog hopping today.
mainly because time is not on my side.
of course, today was alil different, i only knocked on the doors of JC students.

reading ALL their entries about A levesl being over(most of my good friends in ARTS haver finished.)
Hui was talking about sitting infront of the TV watching herself silly.
and i thought: "WOW" that sounds rather fun.
look, i've been deprived of every other media other than the internet, which i mostly use for schoolwork.
so TV is rather enticing.

Saturday was a 'SUPPOSED' birthday celebration.
but i went out with XY's incompleted Birthday gift, so it was like DAMN.
Keat had the best buys of the day!
Shoes for $5 bucks, Blouses for $10.
i swear i would rope her into my 'find-bargains-club' and be the chairperson or something.
and then it was the long train ride home again where we get tangled into each others life.


..


life is mundane.
maybe even that is an understatement.
weird to say, i think i have problems living my life!
LIKE HELL BROKE LOOSE AND GOT CAUGHT UP WITH ME.
its misery.
i mean everyone is basically on the same boat, i get that.
on top of stress, the IBOOK G4 broke down and i almost killed myself (so glad its over)
and dealing with the human relationships if TOUGH.

for a fact,
i take people close/around me for granted.
of course im fucking pissed at myself for that.
but being angry at myself doesnt a single thing.
at least im blessed to have a reminder and jolly-'sandy' with me.

i had some updates for HK trip.
apparently they are a bunch of genderist people over there in the island of HK.
and they apparently prefer guys.
unless they get a girl who is fucking smart. (i need to emphasis 'FUCKING' smart.)
and prolly boring enough to not cause trouble.
the 2nd part i can manage, 1st one. HA.


anyway, i can't wait for this tragic sem to reach its mid-point so i can take off to hong kong and see mummy.

haven we been through this before.
dont go on and on and on.
for god's sake, use proper english.
reporting mundane stupid things.
im stuck in a fucking frustrated world,
yes i have absolutely no contacts and
no networking skills.
yes thank you, god has been fair,
to you to you and to you.
if you think you're fucking beautiful,
what do you fear?
u bask in compliments, stop lying.

GO GET GROPE.I BET YOU'LL FUCKING ENJOY IT.

i want a macbook, if it can solve all my problems.

i need a break, and after i finally got a well deserve break, this screws up.
it's almost as if i dont deserve that break.

cabbing has been a hobby this week.


FUCK MAC FUCK APPLE FUCK my ibook G4.

daybreak.

im not exactly having the blast of my life savng money.
i can hardly buy anything.
i've turned to fashion blogs for some kind of much-needed comfort.
and i normally leave the job to my over imaginative brain to produce that much-needed euphoria.

if only i could dress half as gorgeous as them.
JUST HOW DO THEY DO IT!


well taliored black dresses, coloured stockings, high-waist, sequin-shift dresses.
imagine imagine imagine.












...

i have decided to once again decide that...

i have to be the good daughter again.
mainly because i just to don't have that rebellious streak in me.

sighs.

and its really much better to have someone paying extensively for ALL your needs.
loser-ish really.

Hello decision.

im sitting with a pile of work.
and well, staring at a postcard saying 'Hong Kong'.

my heart skipped three beats.
..

random people ask me why im always saving (well, i cant say its for a rainy day right?! sounds nutty.)
well, the answer is, to travel.

i've made up my mind, (im near to packing my luggage) and i've convinced my parents.

there's a giggling sensation in me that pushes me to run along and be irrational.
and the safer side of me, its just gunning me down with ' what ifs...'

the outcome of being rejected will prolly be tougher than learning to live alone.

..

it took me just 3 minutes to convince Dad.
it was a feat, a milestone in my life, for frankly, he was my biggest barrier.

Mum was much more excited than i am (not a good sign.)
through out the 20 minutes phone call, she was blabbering a whole lot of lifestyle plans.

and i spaced out, i kept spacing out.
i caught myself thinking about the possibilities during TV production class today.
i caught myself smiling at the business traveller magazine.


right now, i have just gotta go get my resume and ranking form done.





and maybe, i'll fly in time to come.

1. Stop chewing on pineapple(s).

2. Start eating oily chee cheong fan with just strictly soy sauce.

3. Kick drama and fried chicken out of the diet.

4. Read alot of magazines.

5. devote all free time to sleep.


talk about a comprehensive working semester.

xoxo

whenever im at the world's end, stuck at the pits.
you give me strength in the words u say and the listening ear u give.

u dont know how precious you are just yet.
i only hope i can subtle-ly show it to u, without damaging who you are.

im still amaze at how u always pick the right words,
defining the core of my passion with such a simple sentence,
u seem to see right thru me, like how my mum does.

word of advice,
always pick malibu dream over anything else.

...

IBM is the world's top 20 semiconductor sales leader, and largest computer company.

so im proud of u too.

one nite out.

Thank god for people like YOU, YOU and YOU.
my very own bunch of super friends.





life is so much more colourful.

kick-ass sunshine.

i dont know what i've been doing lately.
everything seems to move auto-pilot style.


like how i avoid bumping into you.
how i come to work later and leave work on time.
how i hate to linger, except when i need books to fuel up my life.
how i say 'hello' and smile to everyone other than you.

and i guess nathaniel might still be a better name for my child next time(if i ever have one.)

...


mum came back to singapore three time last month.(it was fantastic!)

im listening to maroon 5's WAKE UP CALL, i know im a bit wayy behind.
but i just realised.
i need a wake-up-call perhaps.

reading travel narratives, finding spiritual enlightenment.
reading love essays.
searching for love in different corners of my life.
i beginning to feel that life seems a lil too drama-ish.
almost fiction literature.


went to NUH to visit rahila,
who had a 12cm jack fruit seed looking in-growth in her stomach removed.



reading the basic theory textbook everywhere i go.


i need to take some pictures to brighten up my day.


rants, boring rants.

sayonara.

i have decided that one of my greatest hobby is vanishing for awhile.

so good bye.
at least for awhile.





take care people!

gooodbye, forever.

the whole world seems to be on an internship.

im definitely not,

in fact im dealing with death and love and death and love.

one day i'll narrate the story.

i wonder if its alright to feel like that, so score like that.

i wished i could stay in Borders, for a long time, everyone is bloody nice.

i wished i knew when death strikes, i wished i played my part.

Helllo, goodbye, and i send you the love i've always stored in my heart for someone else.

take my love and leave with a touch of grace.

ah-leh-lu-ya.

mavel comics?

ok, im officially tired of being love-sick like.
yes i do fucking hell need a boyfriend, but you know these things...

and yes, i am very very very tired after work today.
i am dealing with massive amounts of Harry Potter, and they were really dusty.

alrite, let the pictures do the talking.



its rare to see her in such a bad state, the expression, nnothing else.



i went to perm my curly wurly hair and it turned out 20 times more curly wurly.



and we try to look beautiful.



a lil bit of me and you makes a whole lot of joy/



hello miss sunshine!

...


i permed my friggin hair ages agoo and i kinda dont wanna talk about it cos its fucking screwed.
i had to go rebond my fringe the 2nd day cos the fucking woman (ex-masscommer mind u!) went to fucking perm my fringe.
i mean, which fucking idiot perms the fucking fringe.
and i had to say goodbye to the naturally wavy fringe and swop for an unnaturally straight and short fringe.
FUCK YOU, if you think you know everything, stupid EX-masscommer.

when the desire to wwant to look better screws up big time.
oh well, what can i say? FUCK.

....

if i were to draw a heart for everytime i thought of you,
i think the world would be filled with so much more love.

good morning borders.

As plain white Ts would sing it, 'Oh it's what you do to me'.


...

its the first time that going to work does not seem like a chore.
friends laugh and say im all bullshit, but its the first time work seem so much like school.
im always thinking about the next book i can buy.

im hardly bothered by the pay,
im seriously thinking of hanging on to the job,
but as anyone would know, it is nearly impossible.


...


hey there delilah, be my love, would you?

run my dear, run.

if you'll keep running with me,
i woulden mind working 10 hours everyday.
...


exams are so long gone like old grannies panties.
riight now, im basking in the joy of working and filling up my bank acc with more cash.
it helps that i've been doing pretty much retail therapy.

Borders has been tolerating with my mistakes.
the managers and supervisors have been talking about it, but im pretty much okay with it.
so they go 'oh... you'r liang tong', and i know my mistake has been spread.

but they seem to have a high tolerant for it,
and everyone i meet just smiles at me, nice big gigantic smiles.
it makes me want to skip across the book store, jump around, sing and smile all day long.

i've been smiling so much, my cheeks feel numb.
sure, there are tough times, even tears, but the environment and people make it so bearable.

im always running from one end of the store to the other,
it fun to run pass the kids section, all the time.
and yes, but saying hi to me.

...


i have a long overdued romance i wished i could claim in borders.



...

all systems shut down.

i find the problem ridiculous,
and the solution lame, mayb not there at all.

..


Borders was tough,
mental endurance and EEK, book store not slack at all.

its rather peaceful, or so it seems and no one seems to be trying to break it.
so it all seems rather well.
only if i din miss mum that much while i was doing my stuffs.

i was kinda shocked at the mess behind the scenes, and the number of things we had to memorise.
That aside, all's well except this 8-5 timing is screwing up my entire holiday, so far.

...

i tried to call the girls,
both were unreachable.
xinyu was prolly working, and keat? kinda missing.
oh man, this sucks.
alot of angst that i needed to flush out of my system.
its somewhat PMS and yet, i cant identify it.
like there's a wholelot of shit in my system that i have yet to get out.


..


oh dear, take a mental break.
and for hui who likes to think ever so much,
its okay, it runs in my blood too.





mental note: call hui mei.

knock-off.

exams are over, this sem is pretty much over.
im pretty sure i wun be seeing those subjects anywhere too soon.

i just wana be very thankful for sandy.
i seriously dont know what would have happened without her,
and to all the people we angered and to all the people who were angered by us.
well, its just too bad for u guys.
mayb i'll get karma, but god knows.

save your truckload of bullshit for yourself next sem, just a suggestion.

and if YOU(to just that one specific person) pester me for my results next sem, i will sure to knock u over ur head with mine. save for the heels for ur oversized boyfriend.



..

on a happy note, i will be heading to the airport to retrieve a bottle of warmth later on, no, maybe a jar of warmth, from the mother who has officially crossed the point of not being there for us for more than a year since i was born.
the longest time i have ever been put into an emotional turmoil.

and all those gaps in life when she's not there to fill, her mother has been doing a wonderful job being my source of suppport.
im amazed that my mum has given me such a great grandmother

i guess this is the shortest over-exam euphoria ever.
cheerios to independence and borders.

coffee prince ep 13 is out!!!!
omg, i can almost die of happiness.


finished time travellers wife.(damn emo.)
its like i have nothing to do and everything to do.
i really cant be bothered about the exams.(not that i dont want to.)
like my attention span does not last more then 30 mins.
i take so many breaks that i decided to just slack.

eat KFC with keat, walk around.
talk about christianity.
oh whatever,
i made a mental promise to myself tmr is like, the last day and i have to hardcore finish!

just let me watch this episode 13, and i'll rest in peace awaiting to fulfill tmr's promise.

culinery accidents.

my craving for pasta has turned into a severe illness.
i attempted to cook up pasta at home.

with No garlic and No parmesan cheese.
and only instant pasta sause.
haha, u mus be wondering how it taste like.

so bad quality pasta,
over heated pan,
undercooked pasta,
kraft cheese.

the only saving grace was the sausage, the chilli sausage.

the overall taste was..supermarket pasta.
i think i should jolly well fail myself in cooking.
i am seriously haviing more and more culinery accidents.




.and the other day i did a rice pudding.
and it tasted abit odd, and looked abit odd.
so when my brother asked me what was the chunck of yellow thing in the fridge,
i hastily said, oh, some egg thing.


I NEED GOOD HOME COOKED FOOD.


..


i think im gonna get KFC later.
nothing can go wrong with fried chicken, although it might not be home-cooked.