Hello, Goodbye.

In typical "Tong-Style", I complicate things.

//

that aside, life has been on a gloomy side.
Losing the phone, losing the contacts.
I have to say that I manage well without a phone but there's still a pain that kicks in quietly.
I lost my phone on a Tuesday, with the help of a bunch of friends (MY VB TEAMMATES WHOOHOO) I managed to stay calm.
Too calm for comfort.
The next few days past in robotic style, getting through the motion.
On saturday, away from all my friends, I finally had enough.
tears streamed down when dad's gentle "what phone do you wanna get?" was heard.
"I dont want any new phone I want my old phone back" - childish and dumb, I finally let these words lose.

The notion of "loss" was also something I struggled to come to terms with.
I believed that nothing was truly lost, well perhaps I was wrong.

So all those messages, all those contacts from since the internship days, are now really gone with the wind.
My reservoir of good-will is obviously too low, no one returned the phone.

Well, but i guess there always is some kind of silver lining.
Gained some contacts despite the losing the phone.

You will ignite my bones.

I hate the idea that i'm losing this neutrality.
I've nurtured it for about 5 months, seeing it grow, and now its almost dead.
I feel tortured by it.
Every sound, every click, every notification.
Almost as if, if it's not you I'll rather have nothing.
Even deeper now.

In your name, I find meaning.

It's true.
Took me some time, but it's true.

Knowing that I have subconsciously been thinking/acting like a pseudo intellectual.
Just because we don't share the same love for books and music should NOT make us any less closer. It was silly. Why did I not think about that? Why did I build my own walls, put up my own defenses infront of you and you?

I take for granted of your motormouth, forgetting that without it, much awkwardness would linger. I interpret the way you say "anything" as negative, but in truth, you bring it across in a positive light, you show that you are willing to abide by the decisions I make - a sacrifice almost. You take a stance. Your willingness to let me take the lead and make the decisions, that is a stance. I'm grateful for it.

Each time we bring this matter up, I promised to change. But I know I'm that leopard that will never change my spots. I don't want to overpromise anymore. I will try to let actions speak louder than words.

We accept the love we think we deserve, I think both of you deserve more from me.
And when the hell did I even started to PR with my best-est friends?


Sorry seems to be the hardest word, now as the ego and pride grows, and age catches up with me. But today I sit thinking about how sorry I would be if I din say 'sorry'.


So, Sorry.

What took you,

so long?

International Suit-Up Day

This crazy How I met Your Mother saga started from Hee Xun, I have since been advocating it.
The soundtrack is crazy, the lines are witty, there is no reason to not watch it.
Life I guess, can really be such a ride. McClarens, New Loves, Sad Good byes.


MUCH ADO ABOUT FACEBOOK

I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook.
I log in every other day I know..but oh well. I hate how everyone is so accessible via facebook.
But something did warm my heart today:






SCHOOL DAYS.

Things i wear to keep my spirits up, and myself going.
Helps that the heart brooch was made by Sandy Baby - I've always seen her as a companion in school, now that she's in aussie, wearing this heart makes me feel she's close. and the "KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON" badge, I think it's a state of mind.

In Poly my motto was "JUST WHACK", now I'm a lil older and maybe wiser.
I just pull things forward.






LISTEN to the LITTLE LION MAN.

A couple of months ago I came across some beautifully written lyrics.
Aptly named (There's a story I seem to have forgotten): THE LITTLE LION MAN.
Little did I know they were from this band:
Mumford and Sons - it was a thrill rediscovering Music and lyrics.




Weep for yourself, my man,
You'll never be what is in your heart
Weep Little Lion Man,
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself,
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems
That you made in your own head

Why look back?

I guess something is really wrong when I actually start missing the stupid and very crazy things we use to do in the darkness. Loud music, under the influence of alcohol. The lungs shouting for mercy and the body giving it ten times more pain. Now, why would I want to do it again?

Ouch, this dull moment.

There's this dull moodiness that has been lingering.
I can't pinpoint the exact reason for it.
Who, what is it?