I crawled out of bed with a pain in my head.
and my heart.
It must be the effects of caffeine.
I knew I maxed-out my limit 2 days back.
Anxiety attack. Frightful dreams of the future.
I knew.
Its ironic how i preach to many about the importance of taking care of the body,
that the body is, really a wonderland that should be managed with discipline.(no, a temple really)
Don't smoke, I said - not gonna do your future baby's brain development any good.
Don't drink too much I said - it'll make you puke.
But I, instead choose to let caffeine take over my diet.
Coffee with bread, tea with rice, coffee with stress and tea to destress.
Coffee for joy, tea for sorrow, coffee for tea and tea for breakfast.
you know what's the most ironic thing,
i am out of control,
and after this post I will still go on stretching that limit.
For I am without my social embrace, I need something else to keep me sane.
bring my heart to sleep, bring my head to sleep.
let me body stay awake, let it suffer, let it pain
for this toilsome life is killing me.
...
we all need some motivation, some encouragement and some love.
That bank was refilled for me yesterday
but as soon as they stepped on bus 199,
it seemed to be emptied immediately.
I feel like a kid in need of praise, a hug and a smile.
or even better, something tangible to hold on to.
I no longer want to be sarcastic, ruthless or even patronising.
an hour in my dreams, an hour of self-reflection.
Kings of Leon would say I need somebody.
I beg to differ tonight.