"The more you try to erase me, the more I appear."
- Thom Yorke
This is the exact situation right now. The more I try to pretend you don't exist, the more you haunt me. Tunes you mentioned, tunes you loved. everything about you but you, yourself. I bumped into all your friends, but just not you. Is that just a horrible coincidence or an eventful avoidance?
Monday night at Stereolounge, over free flow beer and truffle fries (not as good as Overeasy - no rosemary leaves!) Warng and I had the 'deepest' conversation I've had in months. Beer really does wonders.
I cannot agree to all his theories and observations, but those that I can relate to, we strike fast deep conversations. I like our relationship. I like the distance we put between ourselves. I like the fact that we still judge each other quite abit. I like that we still know whats going on in each other's life despite the distance (bromance and an overseas education for you, and work work work for me). Maybe my life's just easily predicatable.
Awesome would be such an understatement. But i did take a 2 minute break in between our conversation as X's favourite tune(s) was played. I cant help but wonder how he has been. I cant help but wish that I could have a Warng-type relationship with X. Not romantic, but platonic, intimate yet apart.
In truth, my reluctance to shut down the blog has a little to do with X. But now that I've locked the blog I guess it doesnt matter.
On a side note R mentioned he owes me a drink, I do hope he remembers when YOG ends.
Media Brief 5 at Marina Bay Sands tomorrow - I have a feeling reporter G will come back and haunt me. GAHGAHGAH.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
YOG Opening Ceremony
27,000 spectators
18,700 Workforce
over 7,000 performers
47 MOE schools
750 students to form the olympic rings
24 music arrangers and composers
1 solo artist
20 handheld Monster props
15 member creative team
6 final torch bearers
2 Publicity girls.
6 Full-run rehearsals.
1 Youth Olympic Opening Ceremony.
1 night of wonder.
and now I have to sleep away all the numbers that make up the Opening Ceremony - that made up my life for the last 4 months. To be exact, 98 Days.
Worked non-stop for the last month, every saturday given to rehearsals.
Sunday spent sorting out monday's interviews.
Finally, I took a rest for one whole afternoon.
After the countless interviews - at least 2 every day - and coverage...I have burnt out.
18,700 Workforce
over 7,000 performers
47 MOE schools
750 students to form the olympic rings
24 music arrangers and composers
1 solo artist
20 handheld Monster props
15 member creative team
6 final torch bearers
2 Publicity girls.
6 Full-run rehearsals.
1 Youth Olympic Opening Ceremony.
1 night of wonder.
and now I have to sleep away all the numbers that make up the Opening Ceremony - that made up my life for the last 4 months. To be exact, 98 Days.
Worked non-stop for the last month, every saturday given to rehearsals.
Sunday spent sorting out monday's interviews.
Finally, I took a rest for one whole afternoon.
After the countless interviews - at least 2 every day - and coverage...I have burnt out.
Monday, August 09, 2010
残忍
"对别人仁慈是对自己残忍"
I'm been inflicting so much pain on myself. The blame, the reponsbilities, the non-stop shit ass workload. Over the last year or so, I've noticed a major change in myself. I use to have major bitch fits, throw silent deathly glares and fuck those dumbfucks right in their face. Now, I'm just a PR wannabe who is DYING to please everyone. I even forget my own human rights (like 99% of the time).
Eg:
Climbing up 8 x 2 x 2 storeys with a sprained ankle/thread on water with photographer - HELL YEAH I'LL DO IT. ...The next two days was spent in agony.
Telling the reporter "Sure, I'll help you with X and X, oh you want an interview with XX? He's very busy but I'm sure I can help you to arrange :)"
Despite my sprained ankle, I love to say: "oh you can get better footages if we go to FFF, JUST 10 MINS walk away, come, let me walk you there."
So many more examples of me torturing myself. Feeling tired just thinking about it. My brain and my mouth just cannot sync.
"never give up it's such a wonderful life."
I'm been inflicting so much pain on myself. The blame, the reponsbilities, the non-stop shit ass workload. Over the last year or so, I've noticed a major change in myself. I use to have major bitch fits, throw silent deathly glares and fuck those dumbfucks right in their face. Now, I'm just a PR wannabe who is DYING to please everyone. I even forget my own human rights (like 99% of the time).
Eg:
Climbing up 8 x 2 x 2 storeys with a sprained ankle/thread on water with photographer - HELL YEAH I'LL DO IT. ...The next two days was spent in agony.
Telling the reporter "Sure, I'll help you with X and X, oh you want an interview with XX? He's very busy but I'm sure I can help you to arrange :)"
Despite my sprained ankle, I love to say: "oh you can get better footages if we go to FFF, JUST 10 MINS walk away, come, let me walk you there."
So many more examples of me torturing myself. Feeling tired just thinking about it. My brain and my mouth just cannot sync.
"never give up it's such a wonderful life."
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
In all Honesty is overused.
In Truth.
Physically and mentally drained.
The sprain ankle remains sprained despite talk that it is supposed to heal.
As the games approach - more media queries are coming in.
Yesterday I clocked a record 16-hour work day.
Hope is not a method, neither is hardwork sometimes.
//
Day.
An hour and a half with a handsome stranger.
I don't know who you are but we shared a rainbow, and a 8 x 2 storey climb - despite my sprained ankle. You wanted to do anything that "risked you life". I wanted to do everything that would "keep me safe". Vastly different and yet we've met.
Night.
Nerd came over to talk yesterday.
I threw him nothing but a sheet of angst, a look of disdain and the sound of mockery.
Sorry but your non-verbal actions sometimes still say the obvious and I can only read and react the opposite way of how I really feel because nothing is in it for me.
I don't need this cheap thrill, or one moment of glory with you.
I just don't need it.
Physically and mentally drained.
The sprain ankle remains sprained despite talk that it is supposed to heal.
As the games approach - more media queries are coming in.
Yesterday I clocked a record 16-hour work day.
Hope is not a method, neither is hardwork sometimes.
//
Day.
An hour and a half with a handsome stranger.
I don't know who you are but we shared a rainbow, and a 8 x 2 storey climb - despite my sprained ankle. You wanted to do anything that "risked you life". I wanted to do everything that would "keep me safe". Vastly different and yet we've met.
Night.
Nerd came over to talk yesterday.
I threw him nothing but a sheet of angst, a look of disdain and the sound of mockery.
Sorry but your non-verbal actions sometimes still say the obvious and I can only read and react the opposite way of how I really feel because nothing is in it for me.
I don't need this cheap thrill, or one moment of glory with you.
I just don't need it.
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