a ticket for love.

we shld all be given a ticket, a coupn of some kind.
it'll allow us to walk up to a stranger and exchange for any particular kind of love.

some lack the love from a mother, or a grandmother.
some lack the love from some other source.

jus one chance, to make someone you dont know love u.
or, to make someone you want, love you.
just for one day, woth one coupon.

for the love of bwa gwa

first and foremost, sorry if u cant find urself in the picture.
oh, we were high, so its pretty unfocused.
lols, i love bah gwa.
do support bah gwa and the slaughter of pigs for that purpose
im sorry pigs.
im really sorry piggys.
but, feed me.

my china lady.

lunar new year, in my eyes, its all about the prep and the 1st three days.
and after that, life goes back to normal.

yea, i get a few days off, staying at home with mum and dad, but bro goes back to school.
new clothes, compliments, de-compliments, food, laughter, losing on the gambling side, home cooked food.
its amazing how all these came and go.

jus like how mum is going to go back to china tomorrow.
she prepared a whole lot of food for us these few days, i wonder jus how many chickens were killed for this purpose.
she pre-cooked alot of food for us to store, she knows we're sick and tired of messy outside food.
and as im typing this, tears threaten to fall.
it stings, in my heart.
lot alot alot.
i hate having to return home to no one, to nothing, i know dad and bro hates it just as much.
bro rather spend his time in school, or on the basketball courts.
dad just go on to tie himself to work.
well, that's mundane life, thats also life without mum in spore.

but we had our fair share of fun while mum's in spore.
family fun, nothing physical involved.

we went singing, i sang a whole lot of new songs, esp all of those by fahrenheit.(i know mum is just as mesmerised by them as i am, we have the same genes! hahaha)

we laughed the night playing a 'sport' that required wrist power.
the 'sport' made mum hyper ventilate, showed me how talented dad and bro are in ball games, and how mum n i have the same genes.(oh gosh, it kinda sucks huh.)
i'll be looking forward to playing table soccer with u guys again, and this time, i want to be team up with bro and only bro.


watched a couple of DVDs, ate alot. entered battlefield marekt /super market with mum a couple of times.
i guess before i know it, i'll be in china, closer to mum again.






dawn to dusk, day 1 to day 12.
i hope u've packed up and bon voyage.
i'm closer to u then u think i am.
i love u alot, u stubborn china lady.

FYRB.

violence is never the solution.
toleration is.


immunity helps, smiling helps.
i cant ask to vanish, but there's always more then one side on the coin.

for the smile on ur face.

have you thought about it? what is Bliss, your own definition of bliss, happiness.

it could even be feeling bored, hearing emptiness calling our your name.
staring into space, and space looking at you you you.
its endless sleeeeeeping, late nites watching drama or books.
waking up to nothing, waking up to an spaceless day.
wow, shiok.

and randomly,
mine is all about being with people who can make me mad, happy and sad at almost the same time.

for today,its about beng stuck in a messy hse, and cleaning up.
about being in a war zone with aunties, trying to pick up the freshest vegatable, trying to get it weigh and standing in the longest queue in chua chu kang.

i thought the worst i've seen is in mango, where wild women snatch and 'lub' clothes all around.
with clothes on the floor, cat-like claws everywhere.

BUT NO, try going to NTUC with ur mum within these period.
absolutely crazy.
have to Queue to get tomatoes weighed (think fitting room queue), with a bunch of very uncivilised aunties.
i swear, wheni turn into an auntie, i will keep my manners, well, most of it.
i was like q-ing to weigh 2 carrots, and this crazy carrot bitch cut infront of me with a DOZEN carrots to weigh.
i shot the crazy carrot bitch with the most murderous expression i could come up with, and she walked away, leaving her carrots behind.
the other mad tomato auntie tried to cut me, she had like 4 tomatoes and i had only 3 to weigh.
but my hands were like much longer then hers, so, so much for being uncivilised.
TRIUMPH is mine, well, auntie-ish triumph.
the smirk on my face after that is absolutely savoury.












































if u believe me, the longest queue is not in topshop, zara or any town area.
it's in suburban choa chu kang, queue to the cashiers' in NTUC.
it was such a pukey queue.



this whole entry makes me feel like a crazy auntie
but well, i cant deny, it's jus second nature.

send me a hug, wherever you are.

feeling restless deep in the night again.
biological clock is screwing up on me once again.
the sleepless nights, the over-populated face.

thoughts run thru my mind, imaginations and i cant seem to find a stop to all of it.
im tired, spacing out sounds great, but there's jus so much on my mind.
so many random thoughts of ' what ifs..' , ' can i...' .

i always feel as if there is a need to DO EVERYTHING WELL, I ALWAYS COMPARE, i am so not kidding.
i compare and ask why cant i do what they are doing, forgetting the fact that everyone has a different route to take, and a different approach to life.
i compare myself even wwith myself, guess its a habit to kick.
its jus like how no two cups of horlicks can have equal amt of horlicks powder! haha, random again.

Last night, i coulden sleep again. i think its the milk tea i had in the evening, it was delicious, but awfully strong, i woke and walked ard the house, at 12, at 2, at 4. i barely slept.
worst still, i really have to start mugging in the morning.
it's jus one of those days, where sleep doesnt occupy my mind, neither does food.
but a longing for a particular something(s) that is not in my life.
if only things were simpler, aw, i cant define simple.

i keep feeling that there's a whole big blank space that is not filled, that i wake up feeling the same everyday.
i laugh at my insecurities, i smile at my own mistakes.
they dont mean a thing at all, no they dont. they dont help me feel better abt myself.
i've recovered from the post-mum effect, but now i realise that the thing that can truly bring joy and tears to life is honestly humans.
we are a miracle, we can make everything feel right, and yet make everything feel wrong again.

i just cant sit still and study, can i stop worrying abt GPA? Exams? weight? skin? and laundry?
HAHAHA, i amuse myself all the time with my unplanned and undirected bloggings.


......


i need to put my toes in the sand, it could be our toes too.

i need to sit in a noisy car here everyone fights to talk, where everyone is laughing at ntg in particular.

.......

LOVE is bloody blind.

im suppose to be studying, but..

...




if i had roses to give out to my 'lovers' on V-day, like WHO would i give?

thought abt it, family still comes 1st.

daddy, for tolerating.
brother, for being young and grl friend-less.


(no order lah!)



Keat, for being the V-day buddy forever, i dun have to put it in words, she understands.

Jiale, for being the comfort buddy, the ex-captain, the beauty who has so much inner soul.

Li bing bing, the perfect girl friend who needs a boyfriend NOW NOW NOW, cos she has got so much laughter to share with a GUY! (eh, i feel the same too lah, ohya, for feeling jus as single as me.)

Xin yu, simply because i've hurt her enough.

ICE-CREAM Flavour, for being the perfect package as an eye-candy.

....


and the many people like daphy, cha, T103, xinying& ila, sevens, and many random lovers (*giggles*) i have out there.

Happy V-day.
i'll be sitting for my exam tat day, and gosh, mummy's coming back that day!

...





True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends.
letting go is one way of saying i love you



"You call it Madness, but I call it Love" ~Don Byas


Women are made to be loved, not understood. ~Oscar Wilde

"Some people care too much. I think it's called love."


Love is the history of a woman's life; it is an episode in man's.
~ Germaine De Stael






...


and for the grand finale,

LOVE is frigin blind
~ms lau liang tong, love guru with no boyfriend! hahahaha.
i amuse myself all the time.

for F___S.

i am not going to swear anymore.
cause NO ONE deserves it, except work that is screwed.
anyway since school is almost over, and there are jus exams left,
i will NOT swear anymore.
as in, NO F___.



no more, i;ve had enough.

im not some bloody child with no bloody manners.

dont get the wrong impression.
i swear because of work.

oh god, this is good soul cleansing activity.

to be in ur life again.

You mean i CAN throw my marketing communications textbook away?
damn, that sounds cool.
uber duper cool.


good bye to marcom and HELLO media and society.
.......





LOVE FIESTA, JJC, on saturday.

i had the time of my life, running about, looking at what JJC has to offer.
what i missed out, what it was like just one year ago.
life could have been blissful in a JC, but challenges make you grow up.
so i think choosing MASSCOMM was definitely the right path.
at times i whine and regret, but i know im much better off where i am now.

i guess Love Fiesta was all about jiale and Hui.
and it ends there, yea, mab a bit of wei arng, pei rong,gary.
mayb abit of sitting on the baby pirate's ship, may lotsa photos and food.
but mainly all about my ex-team mates, mostly all about the people i truly shared joy and tears with.
to know that u ar remembered, to know that u are treasured, to know that someone cares, not superficially,
now, that is what i call comfort.

to have someone wanting to link ur arm and walk around a funfair, to know that u din force her into it, despite the fact that she is a girl,
it warms my heart.
i remember valentine's day in 2006 with you.
i remember we ate half priced waffles, adn went to school tgt the nxt day.
that's my jiale-le.
..........

i was glad that i had HUI all to myself on the way home.
i was glad that we still found our separate joys in different instituition.
despite 4 years being stuck tgt, both on court and in the class room, we still cant get enough of each other.

i hear about your life, i hear about ur team back in JJC, the team i could have been in, if i din choose to leave.
u duno how much i wanna be in your life again, how much i want you to be standing next to me, playing the sub-set, and covering me while i block and spike.
more then ever, i want to be back in the same class room as u, to wwalk to class and cafeteria everyday, to laugh as if there was no tmr.
Hui, i really wanna be in your life again, like how it has been for 4 years.
u spent the best 4 yrs of my secondary sch life with me, it seems that i can never get enough.
how silent and subtle and STRONG you are.
i miss reading your essays and 'WOW-ING' at your proverbs, i miss making u angry and making u laugh again.
i miss sharing food with u, bargains, and the trips we had while everyone else was mugging for O levels.


could we meet somewhere in the journey of my life again?
jus enough for us to stick tgt for awhile.
our whole seperation was kinda abrupt, we stopped studying for Os, and we got our results.
we stopped volleyballing and we stopped sms-ing.

having someone who share the same DUMB thoughts as u abt life and guys does make a difference.
u make me wanna be more of a person and less of a loser.
i guess u'll never know, u always never fail to inspire me in the most subtle way.
i duno, i just really would like to be in your life/lifestyle again, even if its just one day.

........