feeling restless deep in the night again.
biological clock is screwing up on me once again.
the sleepless nights, the over-populated face.
thoughts run thru my mind, imaginations and i cant seem to find a stop to all of it.
im tired, spacing out sounds great, but there's jus so much on my mind.
so many random thoughts of ' what ifs..' , ' can i...' .
i always feel as if there is a need to DO EVERYTHING WELL, I ALWAYS COMPARE, i am so not kidding.
i compare and ask why cant i do what they are doing, forgetting the fact that everyone has a different route to take, and a different approach to life.
i compare myself even wwith myself, guess its a habit to kick.
its jus like how no two cups of horlicks can have equal amt of horlicks powder! haha, random again.
Last night, i coulden sleep again. i think its the milk tea i had in the evening, it was delicious, but awfully strong, i woke and walked ard the house, at 12, at 2, at 4. i barely slept.
worst still, i really have to start mugging in the morning.
it's jus one of those days, where sleep doesnt occupy my mind, neither does food.
but a longing for a particular something(s) that is not in my life.
if only things were simpler, aw, i cant define simple.
i keep feeling that there's a whole big blank space that is not filled, that i wake up feeling the same everyday.
i laugh at my insecurities, i smile at my own mistakes.
they dont mean a thing at all, no they dont. they dont help me feel better abt myself.
i've recovered from the post-mum effect, but now i realise that the thing that can truly bring joy and tears to life is honestly humans.
we are a miracle, we can make everything feel right, and yet make everything feel wrong again.
i just cant sit still and study, can i stop worrying abt GPA? Exams? weight? skin? and laundry?
HAHAHA, i amuse myself all the time with my unplanned and undirected bloggings.
......
i need to put my toes in the sand, it could be our toes too.
i need to sit in a noisy car here everyone fights to talk, where everyone is laughing at ntg in particular.
.......
