i cant say enough about people who post their grades online,
in the face of people who read their blog.
neither can i say enough about the value of peer evaluation.
today i felt like a slut, except that i dont sleep around and all.
i felt so selfish, self-centred, and everything.
i marked them down.
i coulden take the stress of being unkind, i had to call someone for emotional support.
which in this case, is li bing. THANK YOU.
i mean, i have given many people chances, back in year 1.
and year 2 i just want it to run smooth.
and by doing this to someone, with them knowing and reading what i have written,
i've scarred us for eternity.
i guess i am trying very hard to stay afloat in masscomm, to the extend that i thought it was worth it all.
even if it means bringing someone down.
turns out that i dont feel good about it at all, not one inch.
the day crapped up because i coulden habdle myself.
not that im feeling guilty for doing it, because they absolutely deserved it.
but i guess, towards this issue im really sensitive.
i care too much about how they will judge me when they come to know about it.
yea, that is the truth, the ultimate plantinum truth of it.
i care about how they will spread shit about me to the world, and how they look at me.
'oh its that two-face slut', thats the worst thhing to ever become.
why cant everyone be a little bit more proactive.
do more.
when u go thru endless nights of perfecting work,
you get so sick that u want them to all burn in hell.
thats y i marked them down.
becos while i was all chilled out, i (we) were the ones running the show.
we contributed to so much of their grades.
is it worth it?
to always be doing it for someone else?
its not just mine, the whole project is a group project.
im tired of leechers, free riders, whatever you call it.
if ur life is fucking screwed thats fine.
but mine is screwed enough and i just want to make it better.
and im trying really hard.
right now, i wanna give up on studying and go party,
like loud music and lots of booze.
because it is easiest to hide in darkeness.
