I'm keeping my options open.
Heading to the museum with a new found friend, making dates with the old ones, and generally avoiding the idea that you can have even half of my heart. No way.
//
We had our first awkward moment today. You wanted so much to say something I'm sure, I could smell your uneasiness from miles apart. I was so nasty, so swift and too brutal with my use of sarcasm. Part of me wanted to see if you sense my spur moment unreasonable rage, part of me wanted you to deal with it. Part of me wanted and needed, assurance.
In the end you choose to bury the matter.
Was that closure? I doubt so.
And yet I can't speak a single word about it.
What right do I have? and most importantly, who am to make a sound?
You've said a million reassuring stuff.
"it's not about the waiting, but rather if worth the wait."
So many sentences that tug at my heartstring, and yet my stance is always to show not tell.
I dont want to make my love a war.
against someone else, against time, against the unpredictability of your new environment.
While i can happily tell everyone else that I'm leaving in a mater of 26 days and I'll miss them,
I can never tell you that, for fear takes flight.
For youth is a fleeting moment, and I want you to spend it well.
Doing whatever you think is right.
