distant dreamer.

its so hard to fake it.
and lets face it, we're on a different frequency.

keep your mouth shut.

I need to deal with this.
i hope it will not be permanent.
the pain is, mentally excruciating.

I can't get a bloody reading.
im upset and disappointed.
honestly, i just don't think i can face you.

or maybe i just don't know how.

//

Being too free,
makes my thoughts roam too far.

NOW!

I just wanna be in the same class as Sandy, PRONTO

upmost importance.

Rather than being disappointed in you, i think im more ashamed and disappointed in myself.
and mainly, my upmost trust in you.

i somehow wished that you are much more than you ever were,
and yet, i don't want to lose what i know of you.

you've been proving to me that you change is more than i can handle.
it kinda, just a lil tinge, breaks my heart.

snippets

what happened lately is that other than hanging out with the old best friends, i met a new best friend.
The new best friend is obviously very interesting and has enough 'junk' in his 'trunk' to entertain me day and night.
He funds my obsession in an unimaginable way.
And i would love to introduce him to everyone, HELLO National Library.

Keeping up with the Harry Potters and the Edward Cullen/Bella Swan romance (Twilight) pretty much keeps me feeling young, naive and almost in a dream-like state.
I mean, this is the kind of 'adrenaline' that fantasy stories give, isn't it?

Thou i can't live with the fact that stories like that end so beautifully (life aint no fairytale), i could live with immersing myself in other books and other characters. Of course its hard to get to the classics side, Wuthering heights, the Great Gatsby and Shakespeare are not the easiest things to read, given my level of patience.

There are the contemporary writers who manage to weave philosophies, plots and develop characters, all in a shorter amount of time and can still capture my attention and interest.Thank god for Camille Laurens! (In his arms) and the weekly does of chick lits and sappy love novels. James Patterson is nearly as melodramatic as Nicholas Sparks, now why dint anyone notice that? And if there are people out there who have not read Haruki Murasaki, cult jap author, its time to head to NLB or Borders.


im blabbering too much about books, now back to social life.

KEAT has gotten a macbook, im bloody proud of her, tempted to have my darling tongy tong tong ibook changed but NO, she stays as she is because we've been thru thick and thin.now the only thing i have to do is find out how to install microsoft office into her system.HELP ANYONE?!!! PLEASE!

The camera's always resting at home so the only way i have with visuals is Bingbongbiang's blog.
our 'surprise' picnic, kinda failed attempt, for wei long at a secret location.HAHA
its takes abit of effort to integrate back into sunny singapore, erm YUCKS.
the company helps.



oh anyway, BBB, John mayer is pretty amazing.
.
the new Business Traveller interns have reached Hong Kong by now and god bless them, they are wayyyy to lucky!
and for those who still think that BT in hong kong is 'Business Times', you ought yo re-evaluate your reading list.

i say we need a reunion.

Met up with the NTU babes, my fellow mugger and the seemingly can-never-get-drunk lady
a 12 to 12 outing which involves quite too much laughter, sick little jokes and confessions and a pretty high podium moment.
isnt teenage-hood all about things like these?




Our ever dramatic moments.
its all about popcorn boys, pageants, love-hate relationships with mass comm and a dose of killer nurse fetish.





Singapore need more ladies night, liquid buffets and open bar.
To sept 5th.

another take on stylebytes

Stylebytes is gone and it somehow occurred to me that it might be because she's too sad to blog.
Being the online stalker of Agathe aka Stylebytes, my guess after looking thru her stuffs on Phairy is that she moved away from, the possible love of her life, and did not get to keep the pig.
read: DIVORCE


its just my feel, her taking her own pictures (some obviously on timer) and the mention of finding a new place to stay.
i think it was painful painful painful and she moved away and is now trying to start anew.
it almost feels like she's on a summer vacation, only a possibly heartbroken one.


OUCH.

basic sincerity.

Photo credit: Andy missing beijing


Before i can even unpack, im flying off to China yet again.
This time not for food, fun nor shopping, but as a filial grand daughter and caretaker.
I hope we make it in time.

Time to pack(light).


Bon Voyage.

Hamstring

gorgeous was crying out in pain, quite obviously, and i could only shift uncomfortably in my seat, nothing else.
Its a painful decision to leave the field, even without competing, and thou i'll rather not rub salt to his wounds, the fact that the race was held in his own nation makes matters worst.
it was heart wrenching to watch, knowing that it was all live, and that liu xiang ain't getting a second chance at the hurdles, not in 2008.

I was kinda bloody affected cause i've been wanting to watch China's most famous athlete run and jump, since i ended my internship, before olympics even started. it was just painful painful and just mind blowingly, painful.

Mr gorgeous long legs will still be China's pride, his win in athens (against the westerners) will stay with China.
meanwhile, i'll just have to wait till he gets better.
or maybe try getting a picture with his wax figurine somewhere.

ah, im getting all emotional over this one.

details, of olympics.

Singapore remains the same.
The MRT is ever crowded, filled with our multi-racial counter parts.
I finally saw somerset central for myself, Terminal three is indeed the most beautiful terminal around and coffeebean still exists in many locations all over the island.

My life has been overtaken by Olympics (my undying desire to see China hurdle superstar Liu Xiang in action) and Sleep.
its really hard to not switch on the TV and watch Olympics, im just waiting to see Liu Xiang, watching beach/court volleyball, anticipating more water action from Phelps and waiting for water polo to start.

if only i had a bigger TV, more comfy sofa and a personal butler.

Singapore's weather is really quite alright, everyone's telling me about the heat but man oh man, this is nothing compared to the damp humid summer that Hong Kong has ungraciously shined on me. But im already missing my mongkok and fantastic char siew and goose.

Flight back to Singapore was almost just as torturous as the flight in, United has really great PR people hanging around, but airline wise...and despite upgrade to economy premium (said to have more leg room...) being sandwiched between two weird men on the plane's weird experience. and not to mention inattentive stewardess..

Well, Singapore aint complain nation (to me at least) so i ought to shut up and get back to opening my parcels, packing my bags, catching Olympics and trying to catch a glimpse of Brangelina's twins.

memorylane.

The memories from my 18th birthday does still warm my heart ever so much.
Thou the hair was a crappy wig-like furball sitting on my head.yuck.







Tong,
still in the happy 19th mood lah.

Happy 19th

Pre-birthday.
The best part of things are always always (ZENTAI) in the anticipation phase.



a little bit of drinks and a very bad crowd.



instead of getting smtg for mum on mother's day, er, i got this from her instead.



absolutely mad i was. Another one of those 'i-love-my-outfit-like-mad' but everyone else thinks im too VIN for work.
but the umbrella really did make a good accessory i reckon.



CHEERS ITS FRIDAY, get a drink, get jolly and get ready for Tong;s birthday (ok a little tooo much i admit)
im always secretly wishing to get treated like royalty.haha!


and since i managed to NOT blog on my birthday:


Happy belated birthday Tong! not that i need to repeat myself.
everyday, pre- and post- has been so perfect.
but i just need to get one thing out of my way, or rather, in my way.

The thing about obsessions is that it makes you crave for everything related.
And as with my current sex and the city craze, it does not help that Sarah Jessica Parker is on the June issue of Vogue and my lazy feet has refused to go down to the bookstore until it is FAR tooo late - yes, we have mary kate olsen on the cover now and im a little bit frustrated. (ironically, im working for a magazine and i should know deadlines better than anyone else. DAMN) I called up the booksstore to order a back-copy but their manners creep me out.
DONT BOOKSTORE STAFF GET PROPER TRAINING BEFORE THEY SET OUT TO WORK?
I THINK SPEAKING PROPER ENGLISH AND HAVING BASIC MANNERS IS A PRE-REQUISITE WHEN IT COMES TO WORKING IN A PLACE THAT SELLS, PARDON ME, FOR GOD'S SAKE, ENGLISH BOOKS!

ok, hopefully she calls me up tmr if not im gonna storm down to Central (in my new heels) and make a big fuss.
hey, im just in the mood to make life hard for her, given the fussy attitude she threw me.
whos the customer? me or you?
i'll bet 10 pounds (with myself, not that generous..) that she's an overfed cow with 8 kids.

//

anger aside, welcome to the era of travel, travel and living, and more travel.
Friday saw me rocking 1.5 hours into China to meet mum.
my first birthday abroad, my first birthday abroad and going further abroad (HK-> SZ) and my first birthday away from friends.

What surprised me was xinyu's act of love.
That sweet girl gave me a hug, though she's in SGP and im in HK, through my colleague. It has to be the best gift yet.
A korean lunch and cheesecake later, i felt 10 kilograms heavier, but sinning is allowed on birthdays ain't it?
from the depths of my heart, i wanna thanks those who thought about me, and sent a greeting via sms, email or telepathy (im kinda slow at receiving those..). But of course, the most important thing is that the people who mattered remembered, sandy, cha, xinyu, keat, wendy, libing.

I think loneliness has officially been sacked from my life.
and so has the act of buying dresses (that one is put on a 3-week no pay leave.)

Now i have planned my 'birthday suit' (outfit for the office on my birthday) since a long time ago.
but due to the plan to go into shenzhen, i had play down on my dressing and make-up.
but i gave myself a strict no-black-top rule, so i stepped out in pink instead, and not even accessories.
im not gonna pretend i dont care about my birthday, obviously, and very honestly I DO.
and if i had money, i'll make it big. (last year i wanted friends, this year its glamour, im guessing next year's hardcore-FOOD)
sme pics of fairly, ok QUITE, important colleagues i have...
din't manage to take a picture with my ed or my fave sub ed (im too shy to go ask Margie, and Julian's back in SIN)



Cynthia, ever loving, marketing manager (i do alot of saigung for her honestly.)



Wendy, she has super gorgeous legs, the best wardrobe of skinny jeans and the best shoes.
she actually got me a present, which came as a shock.
and it was like a pink-chain (like the gold ones i fancy) and from FURLA. (the last bit was abit scary and surprising.)
but pleasant nonetheless.



The one wearing yellow gave me a hug from Xinyu, she's Margarette.
i thought she was like 19 when i first met her, but she's actually 25..
and there's Loretta, the designer who is a mad fan of Agnes B, she even has a mega size poster hung in the office (AgnesB)



The cake that looked abit too beautiful to be eaten!



I needed help with the cake obviously, just tooo clumsy to get things right.



i had an additional slice not because i was the birthday day girl, but cause kenneth hates me too much to even want to touch the cake. Too bad for him, it tasted really good. (i think the best birthday cake we've had in the office so far)




Hello mummy! we're looking abit screwed here...after a whole day of rain and too much food.



already wearing some of the buys..coulden help myself. I chance upon the top the last time i was in HK, like 6 months ago and din buy it (think i was stupid.) So this time when i saw it again, i knew it was kinda like fate. So despite the price, i got it.



its not the most flattering top, but i love all the details.



again mum and i not looking particularly good but we're tired and happy after a whole day of walking, eating, shopping and the rain.



finally got the black heels that have been on my wish-list since last year's advert class.
its a size 42 so i coulden say NO.
when i placed my feet into the shoe, my feet screamed HOME.



and lastly, the gladiators that are a size too small but, for vanity, "thou shall not complain".



//


one wish for this year: find that goal.




as with all my post nowadays, its too overwhelmingly about myself.
it can get a tad dreadful reading the posts - its the lifestyle now i guess.
even i can't stand myself sometimes.



had a really good birthday and im looking forward to the last month.
i've finally come clean, im sick of this place.


i miss singapore, i miss MM Lee and PM Lee and i miss mee pok so much im going nuts.

HAPPY 19th!

your pleasure, my pain.

amid the fact that im surrounded by humans with emotionless state of minds, i found a piece of joy.
well, perhaps a new best friend.

COOKIE PUFF!

Perfectly baked cookie puff with an undulating surface.
looks can be deceiving, that ugly dome-shaped puff is filled to the brim with FRESH CREAM.
Fresh, almost custard-like, thick gorgeous FRESH cream.
helllyea, i make a big deal out of Fresh cream cause i've had my fair share of bad, cheap, thin and wispy cream, with its aftertaste just oily and fatty.

I was walking and eating this delicious puff and i swear people stare. (at first i thought there was cream on my lips or cheek but no.. ) they are staring at the bloody puff and the snow-white cream spilling out of the crust.
I bet they were silently praising me too, for my courage to eat such a calorie laden piece of delicacy.
Speaking of the crust, as stated, the top is a crispy dome, while the bottom is soft mushy puff. (deadly combination! and the cream)
Its so goo,d better than krisy Kreame, better than beard papa, better than the fresh cream honey comb cake that cost 9 SIN bucks per slice..much better.


well, it'll keep me happy till morning at least.
Till next morning, when i have to step into that office, where everyone is just too perfect.
sorry i can't fit in, perfect isnt really my word.
im more of a 'clumsy', 'careless', 'sometimes bimbo-tic' (though i won;t call myself THAT ever) kinda girl.
Maybe im just not cut out to be a journalist.
frankly it has been a long time since 'i tried my best' and it turned out bad.
actually, more of its the first time its turning out like this.
how do i make it better? you make it sound easy, but it ain't the case for me.

Maybe im still budding, blooming.
maybe, maybe they are just maybes.

at first there was the fear of going back, then, its the anticipation.
You can take a girl out of Singapore, but you just cant take Singapore out of a girl.
I love Hongkong, but Singapore is Home.

//


Your disregard of my very existence taunts me
like the sand that gets into my shoes when it rains
i've voided the the content you spoke off, the ones that made my nose runny
it is all but now,
like an overdue ferry ticket that has no place in the world
Shove me aside and make me a wallflower
it delights you, doesn't it?
make my efforts sound like complacency
while cheek by jowl the others listened, and perhaps laughed.

mango sale in hk.

Year after year, season after season, sale after sale, i tell myself:

' NO TONG! don't be tempted, everyone wears MANGO, their clothes shrink (sometimes i get bigger), the material sucks, you are paying a price that is what, ONE-TENTH of what its worth.'

but time and time again, i fail to make a point.

//

When i saw someone holding a mango sale bag, i was like WTH so fast?! probably only 30% discount...
and then i got to the mango store, and i realised there must be a mistake. THE FIRST CUT IN HK IS 50 FRIGGIN PERCENT.
probably thats why i ended up not being able to find a size for the jeans i want ( i visited 4 Mango stores all around HK in every direction, not kidding) and instead, got a white vest that i almost banished from my list of 'wants' just awhile ago.

just when i thought i could strike another thing off my list of 'wants', i came to realise that im craving for that pair of jeans that looked so much like the one from Cheap Monday...now perhaps one day i'll gather enough courage, and friends, and spree for some Cheap Monday jeans..



PS: Bing the gladiator sandals are not really good for us. I tried to buy one but they dont have it in my size..and i tried like 3 stores...so im probably giving up on them. Look forward to the 'doc martens' instead lah..


//


such a nonsensical sunday, buying novels with mum, tea, and shopping.
i swear my mum reads anything, from briget jones diary to Sophie Keller's 'undomestic goddess'.
man, even i dont read chick lit anymore.



AH ITS LESS THAN A WEEK TO MY BIRTHDAY!!!

it must be the food.

shit this mindless convo i had with my bro keeps popping up in my head!

My brother: wah, you look very different with and without make-up.
Me: oh my god that bad meh.
My brother: ya, very different.

//

just the other day,

Julian (sub-ed): you look like an auntie today
Me: hey but its mango pants, casual what!
Margie (editor): ya, casual auntie. nevermind, im in a palette of colours too (she was wearing red, blue and yellow)
Me: huh..me auntie?!
MArgie: goes on and talk about her red scarf..


oh god im becoming a walking disaster man!
what happened to dressing -up in HONG KONG
shit im losing the vibes.


//


anyway, i think im not doing very well here academically.
as can be seen from margie's constant hounding for more information and my often-than-not highly edited copies by the editor.OOPS.
damn, being a budding journalist is so demoralizing, well, most of the time at least.
sometimes i even have no idea why im always so cheerful(in the office). good god it must be the food.

so full of love.

One would hardly compare London with Hong Kong. But boy oh boy, I beg to differ. I was in search a particular ‘Café Zoe’ (some tai-tai café that I heard offers great cakes and pastries) with my unbelievably weak ‘Motorola’ umbrella I got as a souvenir back in the ‘radio wannabe dj competition’ days. The wind slammed in my face left, right, front, back and centre (more from the top). And when things coulden get worst (imagine holding the damn gonna-break-any-moment umbrella and not being able to see who/what is infront of you AND having to follow the direction of the wind so as to prevent my umbrella from being turned into the shape of a cup), I tried to close my umbrella and walked in the rain instead. To my horror, the umbrella WOULD NOT CLOSE, and I stood on the sidewalk, struggling to close it as bystanders looked on. God I felt like an exhibit.

I mean, most normal people would probably dump the umbrella and walk on, but something in me told me I would be needing it later on. Well, I certainly did when I was on the way home again. Oh yes, I was saying London and HK? Simply cause I heard London is really rainy and dark, well HK is pretty much like that.

Im not one who will rush back home to bed with a cup of warm milk just because of the rain! Anyway, im determined to buy myself something since its my birthday month and also, coincidentally, one of the busiest month I’ve had since coming to HK.

The rain hasn’t exactly stopped, but I’ve borrowed a stronger umbrella, I hope I’ll make it through in the rain today.

Oh yes, just as a tribute to leo, though he is not dead yet, yesterday was his last day. It came abruptly, not that I will miss him.. but he’s part of the experience in panacea. Well, he did take care of me lah. So.. bye Leo.



anyway, ALL the things that drive me crazy with love:

More of just carrie, not so much about her VW gown. I need a lethal dose of SEX AND THE CITY.



And the parents and the brother who visited,










yea i dont have the world, but i have got family, friends and undoubtedly, one of the best interships around.



feeling so full of love today.

<3

the heart of the matter.

TGIF saw me catching up on life.

Late night SEX AND THE CITY MOVIE with the eds and clubbing on a rainy night with Jan.

Im extremely caught up in SNTC, i wished i could just lay at home and catch all six seasons.
and boy do i regret not 'trying' to watch it back in Singapore.

within the first 10 minutes of the show, i swear Jessica Sarah Parker aka Carrie Bradshaw, changed at least 10 different sets of clothes. Thats an average of one minute screen time per set of clothes. She had a Vivienne Westwood bridal gown that could make probably 80% of the female population go mad with envy. Smart dialogues, great fashion fix, shoe-candy haven (think Manolo Blahnik and Jimmy Choo) ok, im ready to go on a strike for higher pay. ('INTERNS NEED TO BE PAID MORE').

The show was not all fashion, hardly close to chick flick, a well-thought through script and many many many implications that true love will probably enter your life more than once, and when it does, no matter its the first, second or third time, it will be kick-ass. Also, a very cliche ' lets find love in NYC', and then move to brooklyn (in the case of miranda) or something.

But i can't deny that im a sucker for all things LOVE and this show has opened up my heart and brain to how painful LOVE can be, yet so beautiful that its worth the pain. My dear friends in Singapore, i heard that the Singapore version has been censored and cut like mad, so god bless you guys i hope you'll still enjoy it as much as i do. (its more of the story and fashion than the sex).

I have to admit looking at the fucking scenes with boobies lying about with my eds was abit... did't seem very appropriate. haha! spoiler alert, theres quite abit of fucking. I also seem to be the one who enjoyed the movie MOST, although my eds are both loyal fans to the series. or pehaps i have over-expressed myself again.

The movie was so good im looking to watching it again all-dressed-up (complete with heels, since the last time i watched it i wasnt even wearing eyeliner! just my black dress, gotta do the show some justice! fashion-wise). who doesnt love a good love story that portrays the trials and tribulations of a good-looking and well-dressed couple?

..


after Sunday brunch, mum and i ended up in the cinema watching Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. ERM.
Since its really a very classic book the plot was good, the guys were resonably good-looking with beautiful accent but the female leads were...hmph. Hardly any romance involved, (unless you count one kiss in the last 10 minutes as romance...) great effects, great seats but it lacks the punch factor.

Im hoping to catch a few more movies over the week, i'm a little hooked. Hopefully i get to borrow SNTC seasons from my eds or something, if not i'll be painfully deprived.




Shopping has moved aside for the finer things in life, which hardly requires any physical movements - watching movie.
the only thing stopping me is..the tickets here cost an average of 60 HK bucks. SNTC cost me 80 bucks!!! which is equivalent to like SIN$16!!!!!



gosh, im gonna go wiki SNTC...till i get my hands on the dvds of all six seasons.

food.

Things have taken a turn for the worst as i now as i link my psychological state of mind with the type of salad i eat.





Dad and Bro did little to ignite my passion for lardy fried food. But thanks for trying.
Even pork chop seems like seafood to me now.

my say.

after a press conference that involves construction , properties and wayy tooo much cantonese,
i've decided that the only way to go is 'fashion'.













yes, vogue fashion couture whatever.

when someone hurts you, makes you angry or is mean to you.
write the incident on sand.

when someone showers you with abundance of love, a smile, happiness or joy,
engrave it on a rock.

when a storm comes, everything on the sand will be blown away whereas the feelings and incidents on the rock will kinda remain forever. that way you can truly forgive someone, as well as find your own happiness.


some refugee on TV said that.