on death, loss and love.
you go to sleep one nite thinking that u''ll be fine tomorow. You have a splitting headache but you dont think it's gonna last for more then one nite. You din think you would die in the hospital of stroke. Is this the work of god? or does death and dying lie in the hands of the devil? what have you done to deserve this, but most importantly, what has your family done to deserve losing you, and their source of support?
......
you are left alone, losing your group becos u read their peer evaluation of you. you decided that ur ego is too big for this, you decided to make them think that they are losing an asset becos of you. You sit alone in the class room, thinking that someone will accept you into a new group, u want out of the old group. You let ur ego wonder thhru the classroom, but everyone smashed it.
We decided to give u a chance with this project, to shelter ur ego, and make the loss not so hard for u. U say its ur reputation they destroyed, u said u wanted to join our group for every single project, u request fro a changw without getting our approval. WHAT IS WRONG WITH U? mayb u deserve the loss and the smashing of the ego.
you can destroy urself, dont destroy our lives. We cant work with u long term.
.....
i woke up this morning feeling empty. projects are done.
Bauhaus/logos-DONE
photoshop and dreamweaver test-DONE
Media and society test-DONE
Marketing communication-DONE
editing of location video production-DONE
the end of one is aways the start of another. Final project on the way. Being the director feels wayyy tooo scary for me. But i know they will always help.
mum is flying back this friday. i cant go overseas with her, i cant spend most of my time with her. Cos filming is going to take place, THE CUBE's website is going to be set up soon. i miss being loved. i miss being able to meet her afterschool every other day to have lunch, sometimes at hawker, sometimes at jack's place. i miss having her around to suan me. Come to think of it, she's coming back very soon, but it means she's going back again pretty soon.
two of my loves will b celebrating what they deem as a birthday soon.
For mel, may ur loveliness transcend thru time.
For Bing, may love, money, food and happpiness be part and parcel of ur life, for as long as ur stay on planet earth.(u know u love all these)
may santa claus visit me soon and grant my only wish.
