there are 2 people i really miss right now.
keat and mum.
i miss keat for who she really is, to me and to others.
if only i could see u now, we dont evern have to talk, i could look at u and smile the whole day.
cause i know u are keat ying.
......
we sit around a familiar place, trying to open that unfamiliar bottle.
we try so hard because the contents can make this screwed life blurry.
we try so hard cause we give a damn to each other.
i just wanna say thank you to u, u know who u are.
for the listening ear, and for feeling the same.
and for all the men that din walk into our face.
.......
are u drunk?
cause im not fucking drunk and i think you are.
or mayb ur just born with this ulu balulu mindset that is limting every single thing u do.
i laugh wildly in my heart when u talk about ur fears and regrets and opportunities u lost.
i shoulden say this, but u choose this path.
when have we really been on good terms?
since i was 13, u fucking treat me with disrespect, pls dun bloody say its for my own good.
when i cried when i din go where u wish i would b, u din fucking console me.
i hate it when im treated like a fucking 12 year old.
i dont fucking club or smoke or sleep around.
i return home almost like befoore 12 every fucking day of my life, which i realised has been kinda fucked up.
im tired and fucked up and i know u blooody feel the same.
u are a fucking control freek, do u honestly have to care about even my fucking message tone?
no, i dont wish to fuck u or whatever cos i respect u.
but dont push me too far cos im losing my respect for u.
and if u keep pushing me, i'll stop respecting u and treating u like a ________ figure all together.
you have a fucked up life and it caused me to have this fuckked up life altogether.
the line beetween love and hate is gettng thinner.
stop fucking pushing me.
all the small tings u've done for me seem to fucking disapper everytime u show me what u truly feel.
dont always say everything u do is for me.
im tired of having to stress over this.
..........
FUCK. that is the purest way of saying what im feeling now.
..........
i know misery has fallen in live with me, but it doesnt mean i'll have to accept it.
