Think internet, think mobile phones and think Ipod.
Today I made a trip without my Ipod.
(so as to avoid the idea of "ichance" - a term used to describe the scenario whereby you lose the chance to know someone new because you were i-pod-ing.)
I walked in the rain, I got drenched, I thought about the semester.
More correctly, I reflected.
I reflected about how i was always afraid.
Afraid of being alone, when everyone is with someone.
Afraid of being seen alone.
Afraid of being seen in the wrong place wearing the wrong clothes.
Afraid of being seen without a smile.
Afraid of knowing my grades.
Afraid of being stuck in an awkward situation with a stranger.
Afraid of talking too much. (not really so but...)
Afraid of being in the rain, unsheltered.
Afraid. Afraid. Afraid.
Every ounce of insecurity and fear left me today.
I was walking in the rain, drenched despite the umbrella.
And I wondered why should I hold on to something that was NOT keeping me safe from the rain.
Infact, why was I afraid of the rain?
Why am/was I afraid.
Where is that "I don't fucking give a damn" tongy tong tong from just 6 months ago?
where is the TONG that was a friend to Libing, Charissa, Sandy, Wendy, Grace and even Kristie/Chrystal ETC?
I have lost that arrogance that kept me going.
Or is it more correct to say that this arrogance and PRIDE has been the obstacle I cannot get pass?
Lets work on that I dont give a fuck attitude, which is diminishing with passing time.
Lets work on it baby.
That long walk I took without my Ipod and Umbrealla left me drenched.
Wearing jeans and my favourite shoes, I made the choice to let the rain fall on me.
There is really nothing to be afraid of tong.
The dog days are over, sweetie.
