In typical "Tong-Style", I complicate things.
//
that aside, life has been on a gloomy side.
Losing the phone, losing the contacts.
I have to say that I manage well without a phone but there's still a pain that kicks in quietly.
I lost my phone on a Tuesday, with the help of a bunch of friends (MY VB TEAMMATES WHOOHOO) I managed to stay calm.
Too calm for comfort.
The next few days past in robotic style, getting through the motion.
On saturday, away from all my friends, I finally had enough.
tears streamed down when dad's gentle "what phone do you wanna get?" was heard.
"I dont want any new phone I want my old phone back" - childish and dumb, I finally let these words lose.
The notion of "loss" was also something I struggled to come to terms with.
I believed that nothing was truly lost, well perhaps I was wrong.
So all those messages, all those contacts from since the internship days, are now really gone with the wind.
My reservoir of good-will is obviously too low, no one returned the phone.
Well, but i guess there always is some kind of silver lining.
Gained some contacts despite the losing the phone.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
You will ignite my bones.
I hate the idea that i'm losing this neutrality.
I've nurtured it for about 5 months, seeing it grow, and now its almost dead.
I feel tortured by it.
Every sound, every click, every notification.
Almost as if, if it's not you I'll rather have nothing.
Even deeper now.
I've nurtured it for about 5 months, seeing it grow, and now its almost dead.
I feel tortured by it.
Every sound, every click, every notification.
Almost as if, if it's not you I'll rather have nothing.
Even deeper now.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
In your name, I find meaning.
It's true.
Took me some time, but it's true.
Knowing that I have subconsciously been thinking/acting like a pseudo intellectual.
Just because we don't share the same love for books and music should NOT make us any less closer. It was silly. Why did I not think about that? Why did I build my own walls, put up my own defenses infront of you and you?
I take for granted of your motormouth, forgetting that without it, much awkwardness would linger. I interpret the way you say "anything" as negative, but in truth, you bring it across in a positive light, you show that you are willing to abide by the decisions I make - a sacrifice almost. You take a stance. Your willingness to let me take the lead and make the decisions, that is a stance. I'm grateful for it.
Each time we bring this matter up, I promised to change. But I know I'm that leopard that will never change my spots. I don't want to overpromise anymore. I will try to let actions speak louder than words.
We accept the love we think we deserve, I think both of you deserve more from me.
And when the hell did I even started to PR with my best-est friends?
Sorry seems to be the hardest word, now as the ego and pride grows, and age catches up with me. But today I sit thinking about how sorry I would be if I din say 'sorry'.
So, Sorry.
Took me some time, but it's true.
Knowing that I have subconsciously been thinking/acting like a pseudo intellectual.
Just because we don't share the same love for books and music should NOT make us any less closer. It was silly. Why did I not think about that? Why did I build my own walls, put up my own defenses infront of you and you?
I take for granted of your motormouth, forgetting that without it, much awkwardness would linger. I interpret the way you say "anything" as negative, but in truth, you bring it across in a positive light, you show that you are willing to abide by the decisions I make - a sacrifice almost. You take a stance. Your willingness to let me take the lead and make the decisions, that is a stance. I'm grateful for it.
Each time we bring this matter up, I promised to change. But I know I'm that leopard that will never change my spots. I don't want to overpromise anymore. I will try to let actions speak louder than words.
We accept the love we think we deserve, I think both of you deserve more from me.
And when the hell did I even started to PR with my best-est friends?
Sorry seems to be the hardest word, now as the ego and pride grows, and age catches up with me. But today I sit thinking about how sorry I would be if I din say 'sorry'.
So, Sorry.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
International Suit-Up Day
This crazy How I met Your Mother saga started from Hee Xun, I have since been advocating it.
The soundtrack is crazy, the lines are witty, there is no reason to not watch it.
Life I guess, can really be such a ride. McClarens, New Loves, Sad Good byes.
MUCH ADO ABOUT FACEBOOK
I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook.
I log in every other day I know..but oh well. I hate how everyone is so accessible via facebook.
But something did warm my heart today:
SCHOOL DAYS.
Things i wear to keep my spirits up, and myself going.
Helps that the heart brooch was made by Sandy Baby - I've always seen her as a companion in school, now that she's in aussie, wearing this heart makes me feel she's close. and the "KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON" badge, I think it's a state of mind.
In Poly my motto was "JUST WHACK", now I'm a lil older and maybe wiser.
I just pull things forward.
LISTEN to the LITTLE LION MAN.
A couple of months ago I came across some beautifully written lyrics.
Aptly named (There's a story I seem to have forgotten): THE LITTLE LION MAN.
Little did I know they were from this band:
Mumford and Sons - it was a thrill rediscovering Music and lyrics.
Weep for yourself, my man,
You'll never be what is in your heart
Weep Little Lion Man,
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself,
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems
That you made in your own head
Monday, October 11, 2010
Why look back?
I guess something is really wrong when I actually start missing the stupid and very crazy things we use to do in the darkness. Loud music, under the influence of alcohol. The lungs shouting for mercy and the body giving it ten times more pain. Now, why would I want to do it again?
Ouch, this dull moment.
There's this dull moodiness that has been lingering.
I can't pinpoint the exact reason for it.
Who, what is it?
I can't pinpoint the exact reason for it.
Who, what is it?
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Old Photos, New thoughts.
The camera is ageing.
Its lenses are fast blurring, and the memory card is full.
There are no photos I can delete, even if they have been transferred and uploaded somewhere.
I no longer upload pictures at the speed of light - I keep them stored in the memory card, hoping to prolong the lifespan of the memory, the vividness of it.
Recently, I dug out some old pictures from YOG. Yes it is easy to tell that I'm very attached to it. (I sleep with merly and lyo by my side, its not hard to tell). Coming back to NTU was hard, leaving the real world was hard. Reviewing these pictures brought about an epiphany, Well, perhaps I woulden be telling this tale had I not been part of YOG, but it was journey I learnt about being in control, losing control and finding it again.
YOG-bashers are everywhere. It's hard to justify the actions. It's just hurtful to hear them go on and on about it. What have we become? Have we lost sight of the bigger picture? The reason why Singapore bided for YOG in the first place?
For some, I hope not.
And in time to come, hopefully many may come to see the point of it.
CLOSING CEREMONY - 24th August 2010 (Thursday)
Its lenses are fast blurring, and the memory card is full.
There are no photos I can delete, even if they have been transferred and uploaded somewhere.
I no longer upload pictures at the speed of light - I keep them stored in the memory card, hoping to prolong the lifespan of the memory, the vividness of it.
Recently, I dug out some old pictures from YOG. Yes it is easy to tell that I'm very attached to it. (I sleep with merly and lyo by my side, its not hard to tell). Coming back to NTU was hard, leaving the real world was hard. Reviewing these pictures brought about an epiphany, Well, perhaps I woulden be telling this tale had I not been part of YOG, but it was journey I learnt about being in control, losing control and finding it again.
YOG-bashers are everywhere. It's hard to justify the actions. It's just hurtful to hear them go on and on about it. What have we become? Have we lost sight of the bigger picture? The reason why Singapore bided for YOG in the first place?
For some, I hope not.
And in time to come, hopefully many may come to see the point of it.
CLOSING CEREMONY - 24th August 2010 (Thursday)
we can't live life without giving part of our heart/minds to someone
True? A conversation with old Mr F seems to say it all (for us at the very least).
This nagging thought in my head has finally been affirmed by someone else.
The reasons can be so simple:
1. its just convenient to keep holding on
2. because by holding on, i dont end up liking other people when im not ready to, or found one really suitable to
3. and in the meantime, we get daily doses of pain, which is manageable
maybe we are hard-wired to be generous in that way
As much as I would like to do away with thoughts of X, it really is much easier to just hold on to the thought.
use it as a shield for the bad things that come along, and wait for another chance encounter.
This is surprising, the 1st night I've stayed up till after 2am.
And these little concepts of the heart, so rewarding.
This nagging thought in my head has finally been affirmed by someone else.
The reasons can be so simple:
1. its just convenient to keep holding on
2. because by holding on, i dont end up liking other people when im not ready to, or found one really suitable to
3. and in the meantime, we get daily doses of pain, which is manageable
maybe we are hard-wired to be generous in that way
As much as I would like to do away with thoughts of X, it really is much easier to just hold on to the thought.
use it as a shield for the bad things that come along, and wait for another chance encounter.
This is surprising, the 1st night I've stayed up till after 2am.
And these little concepts of the heart, so rewarding.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The "dark side"
They always call PR and Advertising the dark side of the media.
The ruthless, capitalistic cousin of Journalism and research, which of course is for the good of all men.
The media track for me, started with a simple wish to work with a magazine, to be a journalist. That wish was fulfilled in 2008 when I was in Hong Kong for a Journalism internship with Business Traveller - I fought hard for it, and it was worth it.
Having done that, I felt that I was no longer interested in Journalism. You know that nagging feeling that pushes you to reach for your goal? well, that feeling was suddenly gone having interned, Journalism, or rather just the will and desire to write, seemed to have left me. Also, having seen very sucky PR executives, I decided to venture into the field and see what it really is like. I got hooked and sucked deep in, with my one-track mind, I thought that was it. Was I running away from journalism? Given that CCC overshadowed me during that previous internship (in terms of writing) , was I truly running?
It helped that I always did PR with such ease, it reflected in my life, my grades. I can try so damn hard to do a "proper job" in a journalism class and get a miserable "B" while in PR class, I happily skipped my way to an "A". Well, I thought that was a sign.
Two PR internships later - the jargons and execution are no longer a big problem - my decision no longer seemed right. There is so much more to learn about PR, and even more to learn about journalism. But..what sets my heart ablaze? What/where can I truly do what I want to; meet new people, write for a greater purpose, help, salvage, get on the same ground as the my stakeholders? I guess the answer was probably right before me (literary), on the wallpaper of my phone.
"Journalism will kill you, but it'll keep you alive while you're at it."
Horace Greeley.
Maybe it ain't about money, nice corporate suits anymore. It's about getting down and dirty and pleasing the very heart that once decided, well, Maybe.
Afterall, this decision is not for life. It's just for the moment.
The ruthless, capitalistic cousin of Journalism and research, which of course is for the good of all men.
The media track for me, started with a simple wish to work with a magazine, to be a journalist. That wish was fulfilled in 2008 when I was in Hong Kong for a Journalism internship with Business Traveller - I fought hard for it, and it was worth it.
Having done that, I felt that I was no longer interested in Journalism. You know that nagging feeling that pushes you to reach for your goal? well, that feeling was suddenly gone having interned, Journalism, or rather just the will and desire to write, seemed to have left me. Also, having seen very sucky PR executives, I decided to venture into the field and see what it really is like. I got hooked and sucked deep in, with my one-track mind, I thought that was it. Was I running away from journalism? Given that CCC overshadowed me during that previous internship (in terms of writing) , was I truly running?
It helped that I always did PR with such ease, it reflected in my life, my grades. I can try so damn hard to do a "proper job" in a journalism class and get a miserable "B" while in PR class, I happily skipped my way to an "A". Well, I thought that was a sign.
Two PR internships later - the jargons and execution are no longer a big problem - my decision no longer seemed right. There is so much more to learn about PR, and even more to learn about journalism. But..what sets my heart ablaze? What/where can I truly do what I want to; meet new people, write for a greater purpose, help, salvage, get on the same ground as the my stakeholders? I guess the answer was probably right before me (literary), on the wallpaper of my phone.
"Journalism will kill you, but it'll keep you alive while you're at it."
Horace Greeley.
Maybe it ain't about money, nice corporate suits anymore. It's about getting down and dirty and pleasing the very heart that once decided, well, Maybe.
Afterall, this decision is not for life. It's just for the moment.
Of tequila cups, toads, wild boars and powerpuff girls
A virtual layer of dust has descended on my blog.
Time has proven not to always be medication for the heartbroken.
For sometimes, the bitterness of it lingers.
Thursdays are for now labelled as "Chron Thursdays" - where ideas are thrown around in a room full of potential journalists from 5.30 - 7.30pm at the WKWSCI. I have not quite decide if I'm totally sold, but emotionally, I'm very taken by Chron.
This big get-together, which i term as "work" normally ends as we make a decision to have an EPIC dinner somewhere.
Ikea was our choice this week, meatball, broccoli (drenched in meatball sauce), chicken wings and quotable statements.
Life can be so simple sometimes. Or so I thought.
On the way back to hall a sense of helplessness hovered as I chance upon "the-toad-that-looks-me-in-the-eye".
Its mind was set on staying in the middle of the pavement, I turned and fled.
If the speed I ran was kept consistent (with 2.4km of running track before me) I would have broken some kinda runner's record.
Just as I thought I got on safe ground, a wild boar was spotted. WILD BOAR WILD BOAR.
It was huge, black and furry. So no where is truly safe except my my room I guess.
And so here I sit, traumatised, my fingers typing profusely like words will bring the shock away.
Well, maybe.
Time has proven not to always be medication for the heartbroken.
For sometimes, the bitterness of it lingers.
Thursdays are for now labelled as "Chron Thursdays" - where ideas are thrown around in a room full of potential journalists from 5.30 - 7.30pm at the WKWSCI. I have not quite decide if I'm totally sold, but emotionally, I'm very taken by Chron.
This big get-together, which i term as "work" normally ends as we make a decision to have an EPIC dinner somewhere.
Ikea was our choice this week, meatball, broccoli (drenched in meatball sauce), chicken wings and quotable statements.
Life can be so simple sometimes. Or so I thought.
On the way back to hall a sense of helplessness hovered as I chance upon "the-toad-that-looks-me-in-the-eye".
Its mind was set on staying in the middle of the pavement, I turned and fled.
If the speed I ran was kept consistent (with 2.4km of running track before me) I would have broken some kinda runner's record.
Just as I thought I got on safe ground, a wild boar was spotted. WILD BOAR WILD BOAR.
It was huge, black and furry. So no where is truly safe except my my room I guess.
And so here I sit, traumatised, my fingers typing profusely like words will bring the shock away.
Well, maybe.
Thursday, September 09, 2010
No chances to seize.
Received a call today about a possibility of working with a beer company for Final-year project.
Unfortunately I'm not year 4.
Chances, sometimes they come and go.
Unfortunately I'm not year 4.
Chances, sometimes they come and go.
Monday, September 06, 2010
Seattle (Coffee), here I come !
So hello Seattle.
and to be exact, USA - and finally the my dream of heading to Andy Warhol's Museum, New York Museum of natural history, Times Square etc etc etc will be fulfilled.
Today is the best day yet.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Heavy in your arms.
You're so heavy in my heart.
So damn heavy.
Walking along the same corridors, your presence hangs loosely around me.
Your surround me, even when you are miles away.
But I'm so happy, and maybe too happy.
At the very least you are far away.
and you haven proven (during the last 4 months or so) that we are an absolute, a definite, definitely impossible.
I like that idea.
No, I love it.
Love the fact that you don't give a damn about me, so I can't move forward with you.
Nothing I detest more than the inability to move forward in life.
So maybe the idea of "Out of Sight, Out of Mind" - doesn't really work on me.
One thing's for sure thou - Time is a crucial factor in this mix.
At least I know you've pretty much forgotten about my existence and I had better learn to forget you as well.
What a morbidly cheerful post.
So damn heavy.
Walking along the same corridors, your presence hangs loosely around me.
Your surround me, even when you are miles away.
But I'm so happy, and maybe too happy.
At the very least you are far away.
and you haven proven (during the last 4 months or so) that we are an absolute, a definite, definitely impossible.
I like that idea.
No, I love it.
Love the fact that you don't give a damn about me, so I can't move forward with you.
Nothing I detest more than the inability to move forward in life.
So maybe the idea of "Out of Sight, Out of Mind" - doesn't really work on me.
One thing's for sure thou - Time is a crucial factor in this mix.
At least I know you've pretty much forgotten about my existence and I had better learn to forget you as well.
What a morbidly cheerful post.
My future boyfriend would be..
very thankful to Libing.
Because of the pictures she has taken of me,
I can;t help but think forward..
she has capture the days and moments of our friendship,
something the future X has yet to be part of.
and our journey with the flame of youth (now this sounds all very YOG-ish aint it? This is the post-yog syndrome!)
Days of our lives. Now next step - SOMETHING EVEN MORE EXCITING, and the first of its kind. :)
It might be legendary, ordinary or just a flop.
But we have time to perfect it, we have youth to perfect it and keep trying for it.
Because of the pictures she has taken of me,
I can;t help but think forward..
she has capture the days and moments of our friendship,
something the future X has yet to be part of.
and our journey with the flame of youth (now this sounds all very YOG-ish aint it? This is the post-yog syndrome!)
Days of our lives. Now next step - SOMETHING EVEN MORE EXCITING, and the first of its kind. :)
It might be legendary, ordinary or just a flop.
But we have time to perfect it, we have youth to perfect it and keep trying for it.
School's Cool.
I'm back in school.
It's hectic only because I screwed up my modules again.
I realise that I can always try to be a planner, but ultimately, the truth is I'm not.
I work best when I'm on my toes.
I hate being pushed to the edge, completing last minute tasks, but I'm better at that strangely.
Very Strangely.
Despite the fact that I have not fully moved into hall,
I can safely tell for sure that getting hall was a big blessing in disguise.
Someone asked me today - "How did you get hall?"
I stammered, I really did not know.
My points were far too low, maybe it was volleyball, maybe it was pub.
Maybe baby, but i'll likely never find out.
//
Keat and Xinyu are off to Taiwan and Hong Kong for their grad trip.
A trip I always thought I would be part of.
And now, all I can do is watch them embark on that trip.
But i know they'll have fun.
and my heart is in their luggage, tugged in a corner.
Have fun, besties.
Have the time of your life, this is youth, and graduation.
Meanwhile I'll be hanging out in my hall 9, waiting to hear from you guys.
It's hectic only because I screwed up my modules again.
I realise that I can always try to be a planner, but ultimately, the truth is I'm not.
I work best when I'm on my toes.
I hate being pushed to the edge, completing last minute tasks, but I'm better at that strangely.
Very Strangely.
Despite the fact that I have not fully moved into hall,
I can safely tell for sure that getting hall was a big blessing in disguise.
Someone asked me today - "How did you get hall?"
I stammered, I really did not know.
My points were far too low, maybe it was volleyball, maybe it was pub.
Maybe baby, but i'll likely never find out.
//
Keat and Xinyu are off to Taiwan and Hong Kong for their grad trip.
A trip I always thought I would be part of.
And now, all I can do is watch them embark on that trip.
But i know they'll have fun.
and my heart is in their luggage, tugged in a corner.
Have fun, besties.
Have the time of your life, this is youth, and graduation.
Meanwhile I'll be hanging out in my hall 9, waiting to hear from you guys.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Horrible Coincidence
"The more you try to erase me, the more I appear."
- Thom Yorke
This is the exact situation right now. The more I try to pretend you don't exist, the more you haunt me. Tunes you mentioned, tunes you loved. everything about you but you, yourself. I bumped into all your friends, but just not you. Is that just a horrible coincidence or an eventful avoidance?
Monday night at Stereolounge, over free flow beer and truffle fries (not as good as Overeasy - no rosemary leaves!) Warng and I had the 'deepest' conversation I've had in months. Beer really does wonders.
I cannot agree to all his theories and observations, but those that I can relate to, we strike fast deep conversations. I like our relationship. I like the distance we put between ourselves. I like the fact that we still judge each other quite abit. I like that we still know whats going on in each other's life despite the distance (bromance and an overseas education for you, and work work work for me). Maybe my life's just easily predicatable.
Awesome would be such an understatement. But i did take a 2 minute break in between our conversation as X's favourite tune(s) was played. I cant help but wonder how he has been. I cant help but wish that I could have a Warng-type relationship with X. Not romantic, but platonic, intimate yet apart.
In truth, my reluctance to shut down the blog has a little to do with X. But now that I've locked the blog I guess it doesnt matter.
On a side note R mentioned he owes me a drink, I do hope he remembers when YOG ends.
Media Brief 5 at Marina Bay Sands tomorrow - I have a feeling reporter G will come back and haunt me. GAHGAHGAH.
- Thom Yorke
This is the exact situation right now. The more I try to pretend you don't exist, the more you haunt me. Tunes you mentioned, tunes you loved. everything about you but you, yourself. I bumped into all your friends, but just not you. Is that just a horrible coincidence or an eventful avoidance?
Monday night at Stereolounge, over free flow beer and truffle fries (not as good as Overeasy - no rosemary leaves!) Warng and I had the 'deepest' conversation I've had in months. Beer really does wonders.
I cannot agree to all his theories and observations, but those that I can relate to, we strike fast deep conversations. I like our relationship. I like the distance we put between ourselves. I like the fact that we still judge each other quite abit. I like that we still know whats going on in each other's life despite the distance (bromance and an overseas education for you, and work work work for me). Maybe my life's just easily predicatable.
Awesome would be such an understatement. But i did take a 2 minute break in between our conversation as X's favourite tune(s) was played. I cant help but wonder how he has been. I cant help but wish that I could have a Warng-type relationship with X. Not romantic, but platonic, intimate yet apart.
In truth, my reluctance to shut down the blog has a little to do with X. But now that I've locked the blog I guess it doesnt matter.
On a side note R mentioned he owes me a drink, I do hope he remembers when YOG ends.
Media Brief 5 at Marina Bay Sands tomorrow - I have a feeling reporter G will come back and haunt me. GAHGAHGAH.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
YOG Opening Ceremony
27,000 spectators
18,700 Workforce
over 7,000 performers
47 MOE schools
750 students to form the olympic rings
24 music arrangers and composers
1 solo artist
20 handheld Monster props
15 member creative team
6 final torch bearers
2 Publicity girls.
6 Full-run rehearsals.
1 Youth Olympic Opening Ceremony.
1 night of wonder.
and now I have to sleep away all the numbers that make up the Opening Ceremony - that made up my life for the last 4 months. To be exact, 98 Days.
Worked non-stop for the last month, every saturday given to rehearsals.
Sunday spent sorting out monday's interviews.
Finally, I took a rest for one whole afternoon.
After the countless interviews - at least 2 every day - and coverage...I have burnt out.
18,700 Workforce
over 7,000 performers
47 MOE schools
750 students to form the olympic rings
24 music arrangers and composers
1 solo artist
20 handheld Monster props
15 member creative team
6 final torch bearers
2 Publicity girls.
6 Full-run rehearsals.
1 Youth Olympic Opening Ceremony.
1 night of wonder.
and now I have to sleep away all the numbers that make up the Opening Ceremony - that made up my life for the last 4 months. To be exact, 98 Days.
Worked non-stop for the last month, every saturday given to rehearsals.
Sunday spent sorting out monday's interviews.
Finally, I took a rest for one whole afternoon.
After the countless interviews - at least 2 every day - and coverage...I have burnt out.
Monday, August 09, 2010
残忍
"对别人仁慈是对自己残忍"
I'm been inflicting so much pain on myself. The blame, the reponsbilities, the non-stop shit ass workload. Over the last year or so, I've noticed a major change in myself. I use to have major bitch fits, throw silent deathly glares and fuck those dumbfucks right in their face. Now, I'm just a PR wannabe who is DYING to please everyone. I even forget my own human rights (like 99% of the time).
Eg:
Climbing up 8 x 2 x 2 storeys with a sprained ankle/thread on water with photographer - HELL YEAH I'LL DO IT. ...The next two days was spent in agony.
Telling the reporter "Sure, I'll help you with X and X, oh you want an interview with XX? He's very busy but I'm sure I can help you to arrange :)"
Despite my sprained ankle, I love to say: "oh you can get better footages if we go to FFF, JUST 10 MINS walk away, come, let me walk you there."
So many more examples of me torturing myself. Feeling tired just thinking about it. My brain and my mouth just cannot sync.
"never give up it's such a wonderful life."
I'm been inflicting so much pain on myself. The blame, the reponsbilities, the non-stop shit ass workload. Over the last year or so, I've noticed a major change in myself. I use to have major bitch fits, throw silent deathly glares and fuck those dumbfucks right in their face. Now, I'm just a PR wannabe who is DYING to please everyone. I even forget my own human rights (like 99% of the time).
Eg:
Climbing up 8 x 2 x 2 storeys with a sprained ankle/thread on water with photographer - HELL YEAH I'LL DO IT. ...The next two days was spent in agony.
Telling the reporter "Sure, I'll help you with X and X, oh you want an interview with XX? He's very busy but I'm sure I can help you to arrange :)"
Despite my sprained ankle, I love to say: "oh you can get better footages if we go to FFF, JUST 10 MINS walk away, come, let me walk you there."
So many more examples of me torturing myself. Feeling tired just thinking about it. My brain and my mouth just cannot sync.
"never give up it's such a wonderful life."
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