So my I finally let it go.
Spilling the beans to mum, who is so far away.
I finally decided it was no longer a secret worth keeping.
This act was the next natural step to take given the twist and turn of events.
I stop searching for signs of you everywhere I go.
Days use to go by where I will listen to a certain song,
or scan a certain crowd and then let out a huge sigh, one that turn heads.
Unconsciously, while indulging in unrealistic thoughts of you and our flawed communication,
Yes, I let out bitter sighs.
But today was just different.
I was almost home when it occurred to me that I had let out zero sighs along the trip.
And most importantly, I was too preoccupied with my other good thoughts (of a possible short trip?!),
that I did not have to endure heartwrenching, sigh-producing thoughts.
Then a quick lunchtime trip to MSN saw me talking to Sandy.
SANDY - words i've almost forgot how to say. Sandy Baby, all the way from aussie.
I miss you, not with intensity, but with a kind of warm fuzziness, because you are so happy there (so it seems)
you're doing everything that is right for you, there is no saddness in my "I miss you(s)".
I really love this.
It took some time but Im falling back in love with my own life.
You have taken a toll on me for so long now X, now I am back to recreating my life.
Yes, a hint of bitterness taints in my tongue this month.
I've spit it out with all my strength.
Grievances have been settled through dialogue, and a firm decision has been made for me to forgive, forget and move on. There’s a saying that resentment is like drinking the poison and hoping the other person dies.
Passive-aggressive stewing has never healed a relationship.
My unhappiness needs to take a trip to the depths of hell, and stay there.
I have been with negativity so much that is causes so much self-neglect.
I worked really hard to nourishing my soul, feeding on Alain deBotton and taking at least 1 - 2 hours reading Murukami's "Wind-Up bird chronicle" every single day, beer and talk. After 2 weeks, I'm glad to be seeing some effects.
Oh my horoscope this week says: "You'll have a lot more fun if you stop trying to turn Mr. Right Now into Mr. Right. Understand that he will never be a morning person like you."
